two days before elijah's bday

Yet another day has been ruined for one reason or another. And having to act like i'm okay with it. It's always at the expense of me seeing my daughter..... i'm sick of this b ullshit.. I'm Sick of the pain... I'm sick OF trusting When I'm it's been for nothing....... Now a lil daughter not able to neglect put in the past of retrospect and regret.
My heart aches at the loss of my son in my life on a daily basis. TRUST is overrated...
I cant stand feeling like an empty shell any longer................ i dont want to cry anymore.. elijah i haven't seen you in over two years.. i die more everyday!